The Power of the Pause
There is so much to find in that powerful moment of WAITING. What is it we are resistant to or frightened of in those moments where we aren't "DOING" something?
I have been thinking a lot on this and considering how it can be the same experience we have in a conversation, what we call the "pregnant pause"!
We speak, they speak, back forth..then there is that moment of silence! Uh Oh! Our brain starts feeling a bit of panic...I need to think of something to say!
This is getting uncomfortable, what do I do?? I look/feel stupid!
In the work we are doing at Affinity Equitation, we are exploring this zone by choice, we are looking into US. Why?
Because this UNCOMFORTABLE place is actually the space of transformation! When we can stop, breathe, calm ourselves and just BE in that moment new things start to open up for us.
One of those things is the reality that it is actually ok for us to DO NOTHING. It is ok for us to not have the answer, or to take our time. Sometimes its realizing how much mental pressure we are putting on ourselves and our horses ALL THE TIME! And a big one that is becoming very apparent is that its actually really valuable to listen to our horses thoughts and ideas...
When we are in a calm connected place in ourselves we have something REAL to actually offer our horse.
We cannot offer what we do not have. So if we are not calm how can we offer calmness to our horse? How can we ask him to be what we are not? If we don't have the answer to the question we are asking him is it really fair to expect his willing trust and obedience?
This concept of "Leadership" is something that is so prevalent in Horsemanship circles but if we can be honest and humble we can ask, what right do I have to say "my horse needs to see me as their Leader" if we have no idea who we are, what we are about and where we are going? We can go on an endless search for the right tool, method, trainer, gear, horse...but the one factor that stays the same is YOU. It is the same PERSON that is just changing outfits.
Yes it takes courage to look at ourselves, but the ONLY thing we can affect real change on is ourself, the transformation in everything and everyone else, horse or human flows from there.